Legal permanency has long been the goal of the child welfare system. But too often, it fails to deliver what young people actually need: lasting, supportive relationships that continue into adulthood.
Relational permanency matters because legal outcomes on their own are not enough without real, lasting relationships behind them. Agencies and courts need to look beyond placements and take the time to understand and support the connections young people already have. They should prioritize identifying, nurturing and supporting these connections by implementing policies and practices that center on youth input and family engagement. This means creating space for those relationships to grow and actually listening to the youth and the families they come from. The goal must be clear.
Every person leaving foster care should have relational permanency, not just a legal resolution.
Child Welfare Information Gateway, a federal resource, describes relational permanency as lasting, supportive connections that extend beyond a young person’s time in foster care. It emphasizes a kin-first approach that keeps youth connected to family, community and identity.
Each year in the United States, thousands of young people leave foster care without a permanent family and step into adulthood largely on their own. In fiscal year 2024, 15,379 youth exited foster care by aging out without reunification, adoption or guardianship. More than 70,000 children and teens are still in care waiting for permanent families.
These numbers are more than statistics. They represent young people stepping into adulthood without the support many of us take for granted.
[Related: What the Starfish Story reveals about child welfare — especially in April]
As a youth connections advocate with Raise the Future, I often ask: What is the real value of permanency if youth leave care without enduring connections? Permanency alone is not enough. Lasting relationships are essential.
Young people with foster care experience face real challenges as they move into adulthood. They graduate from high school at lower rates than their peers and are far less likely to earn postsecondary degrees. By their mid-twenties, only 8% to 12% will earn an associate’s or bachelor’s degree, compared with about 49% of the general population.
These outcomes are not just about academics or employment. They often point to something deeper: the absence of consistent, reliable adult support. The kind of support many young people continue to rely on well into their twenties.
Courtesy of Molly Bernard
Molly Bernard
Bobby’s story is one I will never forget.
When I first met him, he had a lot of walls up. Everything about him was designed to keep people at a distance. His hair was dyed green, like the Joker. He would not answer questions. Instead, he sat there doing impressions, anything to avoid letting anyone in.
People in his life had already decided who he was. Unadoptable. Going to age out.
But that is not what I saw.
Bobby had lived through things no child should ever experience. Abuse. Violence. Neglect. He had learned how to survive by shutting people out, and he was very good at it.
Building trust took time. It did not happen all at once. It was brick by brick, conversation by conversation. At the same time, the search for connection was happening behind the scenes. That search eventually led to his aunt, Rachel, someone who had always wanted him but never believed she would have the chance.
Bobby spent 2,472 days in foster care. What changed everything was not just a system or a service. It was a relationship.
That is why this work matters. Because every young person deserves more than a legal outcome. They deserve lasting relationships. People who know them, stand by them and remain in their lives long after they leave care.
What I have seen, repeatedly, is that success is not just about where a young person is placed.
It is about who stays.
Young people who have meaningful, supportive adult relationships are more likely to experience stability in education, employment and housing. These connections are one of the strongest predictors of positive outcomes during the transition to adulthood.
The Administration for Children and Families underscores this point, noting that for young people who have relationships with their birth families, “it’s important that some of those relationships stay the same, not only for social capital reasons, but because they can also be helpful resources,” and that systems must be prepared to support those relationships.
[Related: Children suffer when child welfare ignores the evidence base]
Experiences like Bobby’s have shaped how I think about success in this work. It is about making sure a young person does not step into adulthood without someone in their corner.
As the field continues to evolve, relational approaches are becoming an essential complement to traditional permanency strategies. The goal is not only legal stability, but lasting human connection.
Because for many young people, belonging is not created by a court order. It is built through relationships that endure.
And if we truly want young people to succeed beyond care, that is what we must prioritize.
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Molly Bernard is a youth connections advocate with Raise the Future, where she works directly with young people in foster care to help them identify and build lasting relationships with supportive adults and family members.
