The disengagement gap: Why student engagement isn’t what parents expect

“One of the biggest challenges schools across the United States face at the start of 2025 is the persistently high levels of student chronic absenteeism. Having skyrocketed during the COVID-19 pandemic, the latest data shows it remains almost double pre-pandemic levels, with approximately one in four students missing more than ten percent of school days each year. Frustratingly, for everyone involved, including school leaders, teachers, families and students themselves, schools have only seen marginal decreases in the years since the pandemic.

Education leaders at all levels—from state chiefs to district superintendents to school principals—are searching for solutions. Many are talking to families about the importance of sending their children to school every day through awareness campaigns, by providing awards for good attendance, or by sending letters home to parents with warnings about potential consequences for children missing more school. But rarely do they talk with families about how engaged their children are at school.

[Related: 14 states pledge to cut chronic absenteeism rates by half over 5 years]

Yet, decades of evidence point to the importance of families in student motivation, engagement, and outcomes. One significant review of evidence showed that the way parents and caregivers interact with their students at home was two times more predictive of students’ interest and learning in school than socioeconomic status.

Boosting student engagement is an area ripe for family-school partnership. Not only do families play an especially important role alongside teachers and schools in supporting engagement, student engagement can change relatively quickly when students’ contexts change. But to work with schools to support student engagement, families have to know how engaged their children are. Our research shows that parents, which for the purposes of this report includes any adult caring for a child, are woefully unaware of how engaging their students’ learning experiences are at school. This is not the fault of parents, who track their children’s engagement in their learning at school based on the indicators schools typically provide, including attendance, grades, and biannual parent-teacher discussions. Parents are in the dark because schools rarely have in-depth discussions with families about the quality of students learning experiences which directly shapes their engagement in school.

The goal of this report is to elevate student engagement as an important indicator to not only combat chronic absenteeism but to help young people thrive in school. By sharing insights on both students’ and parents’ perspectives on their learning experiences, we aim to help focus the education conversation on how parents and educators can better understand student engagement, more accurately assess students’ engagement in school, and ultimately help improve it.

One of the best ways to understand students’ experiences and engagement is to ask them. In this report, we share what we have learned from children in the U.S. about their engagement and experiences of school through a survey of over 65,000 third through twelfth grade students. We also share what parents’ perspectives are on their own children’s schooling experiences from a survey of almost 2,000 parents who have children between third and twelfth grade. Both surveys are nationally representative by age, gender, SES, and race/ethnicity.

We found that parents consistently overestimate the quality of learning experiences that students report having in school. For example:

• • Only 26 percent of 10th graders say they love school but 65 percent of parents with 10th graders think they do.
  • Only 44 percent of 10th graders say most of the time they learn a lot in school while 72 percent of parents with 10th graders think they do.
  • Only 29% of 10th graders say they get to learn things they are interested in while 71% of parents with 10th graders think they do.
  • Only 33% of 10th graders say they get to develop their own ideas while 69% of parents with 10th graders think they do.
  • Only 42% of 10th graders say they use their thinking skills rather than just memorizing things while 78% of parents with 10th graders think they do.
  • Only 39% of 10th graders say most of the time they feel they belong at school while 62% of parents with 10th graders think they do.

In the first section we define student engagement, introducing the four modes of engagement framework. In the second section we review the conditions and experiences influencing student engagement. In the third section we discuss the importance of asking students about their learning experiences to understand how engaging and supportive their school is. In the fourth section we review the survey methodology. In the fifth section we discuss our four main findings and in the final section we share three recommendations for action.”