Children need more dignity in the foster care system

The reality of children carrying their limited belongings from foster home to foster home in plastic trash bags is heartbreaking. But beyond this striking image there are follow-up questions that must be asked. Why are they being moved so much in the first place? And what do they need to stay where they are?

Every one of the 370,000 kids who are in foster care on any given day in America deserves better. They deserve dignity. They shouldn’t have to endure 15 placements and attend 11 different schools as one 17-year-old I recently learned about had to do. Those numbers are atypical but not unheard of. The average number of placements is 8.3, but more than a third of children in foster care are sent to new homes three or more times a year. That should be unacceptable.

[Related: Under­stand­ing aging out of fos­ter care]

All children need stability, including those in foster care. I believe our system can do far better — while at the same time giving these kids more voice over their circumstances. But it requires a change in mindset that puts the children first.

I offer six simple ways we can start:

Start small. Suitcases on wheels — fun, colorful ones for the younger children, age-appropriate tones for the older ones. As children enter the foster care system, they get gifted new luggage. This is not difficult, and it can help youngsters in a horrible situation hold on to dignity. This happens here and there, but it should be the norm everywhere. The plastic bag should no longer be associated with the foster care system.

Start smart. Ask the children what’s important to them. Do they have a favorite toy to take with them? An activity they regularly attend and want to stick with? Relatives or friends with whom they want to remain connected? Then, act on their responses. Some agencies have checklists to encourage this process. They should be embraced as a tool to make the foster care system more child-centric.

Start keeping siblings together. As many as two-thirds of the children in foster care have a sibling in the system. No one disputes that keeping them together is the ideal, improving everything from mental health to social adjustment to likelihood of adoption. But finding one home for five brothers and sisters can be next to impossible. States should figure out a way to incentivize foster parents with large homes to keep extra bedrooms available to accommodate siblings — even if they are separated into groups among a couple of homes. This can be accomplished with a stipend or retainer.

Start planning ahead. Set a limit on the number of times a child can be relocated, whether to another foster home, group home, relative’s home or back home again and again. I understand the desire to reunite the family, but continual reunification and separation again makes the parent the priority instead of a stable placement. I believe three moves is more than enough trauma for any child to endure. In Colorado, state officials have used predictive analysis to identify hard-to-place children and then targeted additional resources to speed finding a permanent placement rather than moving kids endlessly. 

Start thinking creatively. Social workers, children’s advocates and others involved in the system need to consider alternatives to removing kids and relocating them. Maybe remove the abusing adult from the home instead of the child. Perhaps offer a small stipend to a relative or neighbor willing to check on a family daily as a way of keeping them together. There have been privately sponsored interventions that have kept families together and out of the system. We need to emulate more of them.

Start valuing relationships. Kids headed to a new placement should have the chance to say goodbye — to friends, adored teachers or the helpful coach at the community center. Often, they don’t. Kids who’ve bounced from biological family to kin family to foster family to another foster family, sometimes spending months or years with each, can lose touch with one move, just like that. The system must not only start valuing relationships but actively encouraging them.

Children who are seen and heard feel respected. Feeling they matter makes them feel connected to their own futures. Dignity goes a very long way. Let’s give these kids a lot more of it.

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[Related Grant Opportunity: Education, human services and healthcare access program grants]

Shari F. Shink is the founder of the Rocky Mountain Children’s Law Center and executive director of Cobbled Streets, which is focused on changing the lives of foster and homeless children.